MONDAY MUSINGS SEASON 2 - EPISODE 244

#PainIsInevitableSufferingAChoice

15th January 2024

WISHING ALL THE READERS HAPPY PONGAL, MAKARA SANKRANTI, LOHRI & BIHU

मात्रास्पर्शास्तु कौन्तेय शीतोष्णसुखदु:खदा: |

आगमापायिनोऽनित्यास्तांस्तितिक्षस्व भारत || Bhagavad Gita 2.14||

Translation - O son of Kunti, the contact between the senses and the sense objects gives rise to fleeting perceptions of happiness and distress. These are non-permanent, and are very much part of our life like winter and summer seasons. O descendent of Bharat, one must learn to tolerate them without being disturbed.

Buddhists say a story ‘Tale Of Two Arrows’ to elucidate the reasons for our sufferings. Buddha said that an invisible second arrow is the reason for our sufferings. What is that second arrow? Listen to the story.

#TaleOfTwoArrows

Once a man ventured into a forest and he was struck by an arrow coming from the bow of a Hunter. He was hurt in the arm and he started to bleed badly. The hunter panicked and ran away. The injured man looked around for help but there was none to help him. He started getting worried! — What will happen if this bleeding does not stop? Will I survive or not?; Will the wound get infected? There has been so much blood loss, Even if I survive, Will I have to amputate my hand; I am the only breadwinner for my family. How will I be able to earn without a hand; Why should this happen to me?; I should have avoided coming to the forest; and so on and so forth.

Well, did you not notice the second arrow?  Well, the first arrow was the real arrow shot by the Hunter which inflicted the pain and the second arrow was his worries resulting in suffering. The pain from the second arrow is even more intolerable. The pain from the first arrow is inevitable and inescapable but the pain and suffering from the second arrow is hugely conditional and is in our control. Second arrow is our response to the pain inflicted by the first arrow.

I am not saying, he should have instead thought about his favourite snack or music — that would be a denial of the present reality. However, the worries are not based on facts but on “Could be’s” and “What if’s”, which unfortunately have no grounding in reality.

Imagine he finds his way back to the nearest village or town and gets treated for the injury successfully. That is the best response he could have tried, whether it succeeds or not — what happens to all the energy he wasted in the needless overthinking in the moment of crisis?

Sounds familiar? Many of us suffer the pains from the invisible second arrow. Second arrow is unequivocally more damaging than the first arrow. Pain here is not limited to our body discomfort but covers all our misfortunes.

How to avoid the second arrow?

The story is not about denying our initial reaction, but to have a choice of how to proceed. Over time, being aware of this choice, and refraining from shooting endless second arrows at ourselves, can help free us of unnecessary suffering.

How do you avoid the second arrow? First, notice the first arrow. When you are in emotional pain, allow yourself to feel it. Next, become aware and notice your emotional reaction. Catch yourself adding more pain and suffering because of the second arrow. Finally, give yourself credit for recognizing and avoiding the second arrow. You can free up energy for circumstances you can control. However, you can also always adjust your reaction, even if you can’t control what happens to you.

Pain is inevitable but suffering is a choice.

PAIN x RESISTANCE=SUFFERING,  PAIN x ACCEPTANCE= FREEDOM.  Resistance or Acceptance is our choice.

Practice for the week

Watch for those first and second arrows this week–then examine how to get rid of the second arrow and replace it with some first aid, solution for the wounds rather than the suffering and wait for the next episode of MONDAY MUSINGS for more mindfulness.

GOOD NEWS COLUMN

THE MAN WHO BOWLS WITH HIS LEGS AND DETERMINATION

Can you imagine bowling a inswinger with your legs and hitting a sixer by holding the bat between your neck and shoulder. This is not a fiction, Amir Hussain Lone made it possible.

Amir Hussain Lone is a cricketer from Bijbehara village in Jammu and Kashmir with a difference. He is known for being an armless cricketer and the captain of the Jammu and Kashmir para-cricket team.  Amir bats and bowls as well without both the hands. Amir bowls with his leg and bats by holding the bat between his neck and shoulder. 

Lone lost his hands at the age of 7 in 1997, due to an accident in his family's sawmill. 

His family had their own bandsaw which they used to make cricket bats, furniture and the tools for housework. A seven-year-old Aamir started fiddling with the switches and blades in the sawmill when his jacket got stuck in the conveyor belt, a tragic event that almost claimed his life. 

It was a long road back for Amir, but one he faced with determination. Three years after the accident he returned to his village after spending that time in the Bone and Joints Hospital, Barzulla, Srinagar. His life and that of his family changed dramatically. Food was scarce and the land had to be sold to pay for his medical costs, but they were just happy he was alive.

“Many people told my parents that I was not worth living,” says Amir. “They even told my parents to kill me as I’d be of no use. But my parents didn’t pay any attention to naysayers.”

While other kids were at school, Amir had to stay at home where he taught himself to write, holding a pen between his toes. With no books, he would write on the painted windows of his house.

At 14, and after several rejections of application, he passed his 8th class examination to earn a spot at Govt. Higher Secondary School Marhama, which he walked 5km every day to attend, as he had no money for the bus.

It was here that a teacher suggested Amir join a para-cricket team, a moment from which he never looked back.

Aamir is a sensation now and is a role model. Aamir was appreciated by many cricket legends including Sachin Tendulkar & Virat Kohli.

Aamir is a typical example for this week’s learning. He suffered from pain to an extent probably none would have gone through. He did not resist; He did not sulk that why this happened to him. Instead, he accepted his pains and converted his pains to success and became a sensation.

_____________________________________________________________________________________ Conceived, compiled and posted by Jaganathan T (www.authorjaganathan.com) as a weekly newsletter MONDAY MUSINGS in LinkedIn